tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post9003106310070075359..comments2024-02-16T21:23:06.989-05:00Comments on ksquest: Awwwww, MUUUUSH.khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06430423256832961746noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-68059445428545558432010-10-13T14:05:18.158-04:002010-10-13T14:05:18.158-04:00You will not make it.You will not make it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-24008792804189149762010-08-12T20:33:40.388-04:002010-08-12T20:33:40.388-04:00You have hit the mark. In it something is also to ...You have hit the mark. In it something is also to me it seems it is good idea. I agree with you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-56685442836327920162007-04-27T06:32:00.000-04:002007-04-27T06:32:00.000-04:00Livey, if it came down to it, I was ready to expre...Livey, if it came down to it, I was ready to express ship some off to you!khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06430423256832961746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-86079917202752032702007-04-24T19:24:00.000-04:002007-04-24T19:24:00.000-04:00Damn I had a thought and lost it. I'm on overload ...Damn I had a thought and lost it. I'm on overload right now. thanks though for the smile. Love ya!Northwoods Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06700271652259176503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-76371351127763085032007-04-23T09:00:00.000-04:002007-04-23T09:00:00.000-04:00Pretty Lady, hearing that your wonderful family wa...Pretty Lady, hearing that your wonderful family was, at least, not quite perfect makes me feel a little better.<BR/><BR/>That *not on one's own behalf* thing has really got me thinking. It seems a strong societal pressure, that one, before family even enters into it. I wonder if your little brother felt that way too?...<BR/><BR/>That could damage a person's self-esteem. Most certainly. I'm sitting here for two days now trying to figure out how much of that aspect, alone, had its effect on me.<BR/><BR/>Do you have any idea why your mother had that terror? Was it just subconscious absorpttion from those around her, or did she have some personal experience that left her with that fear?<BR/><BR/>I think your choice, development, what have you, of your persona was so very good for you in so very many ways. Such a healthy way of putting on some Attitude. <BR/><BR/>And now, a nice one. Nice.<BR/><BR/>That is progress.<BR/><BR/>And that simple thing, allowing oneself to finally appreciate that attribute in a man, is such a gift.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Jean - ahhh, thank you. That means a great deal to me.khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06430423256832961746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-53775305501525374532007-04-21T02:29:00.000-04:002007-04-21T02:29:00.000-04:00No one with even half a brain could ever... EVER.....No one with even half a brain could ever... EVER... think of you as phony.Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02099808690177823190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-30819865249590458452007-04-20T19:34:00.000-04:002007-04-20T19:34:00.000-04:00But the *save the kid from a fall by teaching them...<I>But the *save the kid from a fall by teaching them not to put themselves forward - it's For Their Own Good* was big.</I><BR/><BR/>Oh, there was a bit of that. We worked it out. But I think a large portion of my problem was the subliminal message I received that it was only okay to put myself forward <I>if I was helping someone less fortunate.</I> I wasn't allowed to do so on my own behalf.<BR/><BR/>So I continually picked up losers in order to justify doing what I wanted to do, i.e. have an art and writing career instead of going to medical or law school. My excuse and my shield, if you will. <BR/><BR/>And I think I also picked up the subliminal message that I was unattractive and shouldn't be interested in sex or relationships, because my mother was terrified that I'd get raped. So I had no idea how to set or negotiate boundaries--it was either everything or nothing.<BR/><BR/>Which, of course, set me up to Selflessly Commit to the first misunderstood, manipulative, narcissistic loser that I stumbled across. And the next, and the next, and the next.<BR/><BR/>Bath is right. <BR/><BR/>(Pssst! But I had a Date this week with Someone Nice! Don't tell!)Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-74346301464805190272007-04-20T11:49:00.000-04:002007-04-20T11:49:00.000-04:00kirsten, ain't it though!!! BUT. (hee hee!) But...kirsten, ain't it though!!! BUT. (hee hee!) But, I think that going behind a rock for a nice pee, then suddenly realizing your nice pee is DISSOLVING the limestone ground beneath your feet, has GOT to be scarier than running out of toilet paper!<BR/><BR/>You are very brave. I know many people would say that riding through the desert alone on a camel, touring around, is unspeakably dangerous.<BR/><BR/>I dunno. Out here, just driving to the grocery store has its moments.<BR/><BR/>But I sure do envy you that trip.<BR/><BR/>Earth dissolving under your feet, or no.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Sue, thanks!<BR/><BR/><BR/>Nancy!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That's just exactly like Granny J's *fertilize,* BTW. She spent childhood years in Jacksonville, FL, where they taught her the proper words for such things. <BR/><BR/><BR/>PL, the thought of your seedlings out there brings back such fine memories of Real Spring. I don't want to pay the price to experience it fully, because that would mean living through a Real Winter, which I do not do, any more. Ever.<BR/><BR/>But boy, I remember that spring feeling, that wonderful resurgence of life bursting out everywhere.<BR/><BR/>And of seedlings pushing up all hopeful and shy. <BR/><BR/>I think for some people, the lemonade bit sounds like phony Happy Talk. I despise phony stuff myself. But there's a difference between false *Happy Talk,* and when it's real. <BR/><BR/>Problem with people like that is, they often think happiness is ALL phony. This is not logical and certainly unpleasant as well, and always makes me wonder why they bother sticking around. Do they derive that much sustenance from being So Scornful, walking off with the Sneering Trophy for the day? That competitive thing, striving for the *best of the nasty* award? Wastes my effing time.<BR/><BR/>I had a large element of that motivation in my own bad relationships too. However, a true difference in our backgrounds is family, upbringing. Yours sounds like absolute heaven. Mine...granted I could NOT have been an easy child to raise, but my own family was definitely not of the supportive, build the kids' self-esteem variety. They understood the concept and valued it. In application, they often reverted to a certain Old School approach of, *It's better for the kid to understand Right Now that they aren't anything special and that life sucks...*<BR/><BR/>Not in such words. But the *save the kid from a fall by teaching them not to put themselves forward - it's For Their Own Good* was big.<BR/><BR/>So the Chicks with Low Self-Esteem thing was another huge factor in my own Abuser Magnetude.<BR/><BR/>And I really thought, at the time, that I was so flush with an abundance of inner strength that I had way extra to hand around. I mean, I didn't even realize I had a self-esteem problem.<BR/><BR/>One great opening for the horrible first husband to work on me, there.<BR/><BR/><I>and it was thus my responsibility...</I><BR/><BR/>ooohhhhhhh, YES. And did he work on that too. Guilt-tripped me half to death, using reverse snobbery on my upper middle class background. How I owed everybody this huge debt for what I'd been given, rather than earned, in life...<BR/><BR/>It took me around 5 years after the divorce to even begin to realize that, rather than being Mr. Noble, wanting a better life for the downtrodden of the world...<BR/><BR/>actually, he was <I>jealous</I> of my background. Felt like he deserved it and I did not. Meaning it was All Unfair. Meaning he was Perfectly Right to tear me to pieces as payback. <BR/><BR/>Ick!!!<BR/><BR/>now I feel like I need a bath.<BR/><BR/>And some nice flower time.<BR/><BR/>In reverse order.khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06430423256832961746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-60523948815631710652007-04-19T20:33:00.000-04:002007-04-19T20:33:00.000-04:00My flowers are still just little bitty seedlings; ...My flowers are still just little bitty seedlings; I put the first of them outdoors today, as it finally got above 50 degrees. <BR/><BR/>No kidding about that 'making lemonade' thing getting on people's nerves. Some people are just Never Happy! You put a positive spin on things, they think you're being 'competitive' or something! What is that about?<BR/><BR/>It does seem as though 'intelligence' and 'good relationship decisions' have almost nothing to do with one another. A lot of the reason I made bad decisions was that I felt that I had enough and to spare, and it was thus my responsibility to spread the goodies around a bit. Made sense at the <I>time...</I>Pretty Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00342833918614545778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-63535227777175714152007-04-19T14:32:00.000-04:002007-04-19T14:32:00.000-04:00See, K.... what I like about you is that you take ...See, K.... what I like about you is that you take the shit life gives you and then you turn it into fertilizer and then you grow pretty flowers in it....<BR/><BR/>:0)Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12629439279545629954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-71056770498201309172007-04-19T08:49:00.000-04:002007-04-19T08:49:00.000-04:00Well said.Well said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11967806.post-20429009846985185162007-04-19T04:31:00.000-04:002007-04-19T04:31:00.000-04:00Yeah ... It's difficult to be without toilett-pape...Yeah ... It's difficult to be without toilett-paper, especially if you have to do a shit. ;)<BR/><BR/>But have faith ... spring is comingKirsten N. Namskauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17110807096491484051noreply@blogger.com