Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?

But most of us have, sometime or other.

Of course, if we do it a lot, it's probably that old Toxic Relationship thing rearing its ugly head. When that's what we've got, we have to put on the brakes and relearn everything we thought we knew about dealing with others - lovers, friends, family, customers, everyone we interact with, really.

Come to understand why we're drawn to toxicity, what are the appropriate behavioral boundaries for both our behavior and the other guy's, and how to appropriately enforce those boundaries. How to recognize and appreciate relationships that aren't toxic in the first place.

And - crucial, this - how to summon up the superhuman strength to say "No" when that siren song of a perfect and beautiful unhealthy relationship is trying to tug you under.

Meaning: Giving up what looks like the sweetest romance, and taking on a lot of icky drudge work.

Not a road most people want to volunteer for.

But it's required work, if we truly want to be happy.

Her willingness both to recognize this, and to tackle that job, are part of what makes us respect Livey so much.

http://haloscan.com/tb/livey42/114583650112731870

Some of her posts remind me of this song. I hope she knows it, or knows how to find it and give it a listen. It's heartrending and beautiful and bull's eye on target.


Long Long Time
Linda Ronstadt

Love will abide
Take things in stride
Sounds like good advice
But there's no one at my side

And time washes clean
Love's wounds unseen
That's what someone told me
But I don't know what it means

Cause I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
And I think I'm gonna love you
For a long, long time

Caught in my fears
Blinking back the tears
I can't say you hurt me
When you never let me near

And I never drew
One response from you
All the while you fell
Over girls you never knew

And I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
And I think it's gonna hurt me
For a long, long time

Wait for the day
You go away
Knowing that you warned me
Of the price I'd have to pay

And life's full of loss
Who knows the cost
Living in the memory
Of the love that never was

Cause I've done everything I know
To try and change your mind
And I think I'm gonna miss you
For a long, long time
And I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
And I think I'm gonna love you
For a long, long time