Happy Birthday

The man I love for life, my mate, was born on 9/11.

He's not from here. He fled his country in Europe while it was still under communist control in 1985.

Making him no less horrified about 9/11 than any born-and-bred American. And, as I hope we don't forget, people from all over the world were killed that day, including his former countrymen.

For a long time, Walter had serious trouble with his birthday.

If I remember right, it was on the second anniversary of 9/11 that I heard about a young pregnant couple who would be ready to deliver their baby right around 9/11. They decided to induce labor, and to do so on that date.

They said it was out of respect and love, both in memory of the dead, and to honor the way it united our country, who came together and gave everything they could think of to help those many people devastated by that terrible act.

Naturally, the story included a debate on whether it would have a negative or positive effect on the baby to have that date as their birthday. Naturally, that's not predictable; only time will tell.

What mattered to me was that I could tell Walter about it. Somewhere, for whatever reason(s), a family had decided that having 9/11 as a birthday was such a very good thing that they made it happen on purpose.

It didn't cure the sadness for Walter. But it does seem to me that it was enough to keep him from the black depression that used to swallow him up on his birthday.

One thing I really like about this story is, it involves new life. I think of creation, new life, love, true selfless "other-directedness" as good. Evil is wanton death and destruction, not the natural death we all come to but the vicious selfishness of one human stealing the life of another, or destroying clean water and rainforests, out of greed. Blind hatred like racism is evil too; it's wantonly destructive.

In my own sense of religion, both evil and good dwell within us all. The proportions may differ, and I believe our ability to combat the evil and promote the good isn't entirely in our control. Surely genes - nature - and life's circumstances like our upbringing - nurture - have a significant effect on that ability. To lay all of it on what we call "character" and/or "responsibility," and then hold each individual solely responsible for innate characteristics I believe are greatly affected by genetics and upbringing, is way oversimplifying the complexity of what makes us human.

Ah, but our actions, now, that's a different story. Here comes choice. And while the choice of good may be easier for some people than others, I think we can lay choice at the feet of the doer with only a few exceptions.

For those perpetrators of the 9/11 murders - all its perpetrators, living or dead - I have a message for you today.

Like in us all, religions carry good and evil side by side. True religious calling is good in any religion. Hatred, destruction, is not on the side of good, ever. It's why in my book at least, the end never justifies the means. People can utilize religion to understand and choose good more often; they can also use religion as an excuse to do evil. Religion doesn't create evil in them, but it sure can be a useful vehicle and fine-sounding excuse to do what they wanted to do anyway.

You people chose to destroy, and you made your choice out of greed. I don't care who the hell your God is, only evil likes what you did.

Your greed wasn't for heaven. It was for power. If it really were for hopes of heaven, it still would have been greed: greed for your heavenly rewards. It's the same kind of greed I've seen masquerading as good in Christians and Jews and all sorts of others, and I don't for one minute see greed as good. Ever, under any circumstances. It's absolutely selfish. It's at the heart of most or all evil in this world.

For you who deliberately died perpetrating these acts: To call your suicides "sacrifice" is laughable. Instead of trying hard to live lives of good, lives of creating and caring and working out your doubts and pain and fears, you were lazy and figured to take care of it all with one easy act. Yes, easy. So fast it was probably almost painless, and with all the time beforehand to get your affairs in order. You were trying to purchase the highest of rewards with your one nonvaluable life, and with many valuable lives of innocent others. I guess you thought you could buy a place in heaven both on the cheap and with stolen funds. Like God wouldn't know.

Did you think we would forget? No. Every year on 9/11 we remember, even those of us who no longer remember it every single day. Like any time someone we love dies, little things throughout the year remind us: seeing an older photo of the New York skyline when those twin towers were still there; running across someone we know who lost something there; watching firefighters battle a blaze. Or having your birthday fall on the same day.

Did you think it would make us fall on each other in hatred, hatred like your own? No. It did just the opposite: it made us remember who we are and why we care for each other and our country. We pulled together in an atmosphere of love and tenderness that seemed to astonish and confuse people like you.

Did you think it would infest us with an elevation of the evil within, turn us into destructive haters and murderers just like you? Like the American who randomly killed a Sikh, ignorantly thinking the Sikh was Muslim, and then that any Muslim should die? Like the so-called Christian ministers who tried to defrock their fellow churchman because he prayed for the 9/11 victims on the same podium as members of other religions? No. That evil was already there in their hearts, and quite ready to masquerade as "good." That's why they acted so quickly. The only thing that changed was, the evil became visible. Good thing, too, for most of us; we can stay safer when evil is open and obvious. Except, of course, for the innocent Sikh and minister who suffered at the hands of those particular evildoers.

Did you think good people would admire you? No. The only ones who do were already ready to accept an excuse for their own evil. If you weren't the catalyst, some other cheap and greedy charlatans would have filled the role. For all the spectacle of your acts, evil is common and mundane, and not hard to find at all.

You did damage us. You did hurt us. What you never got was that you can't destroy us. And you can't destroy good.