Biometrics, My Dyin' Ass

What a RIP!

I am SO disappointed. I really am.

I mean, we see all this great high-tech stuff we're gonna get for our Homeland Security. Eyeball scans and the like. Looks so cool on TV.

Makes us feel so safe. Cared for.

I've always known the government - and other entrenched interests - were all about the sizzle rather than the steak. Since I was, like, around 2 years old, and hated Disneyland when the parents took us there. I greatly dislike and disrespect disreality. I truly believe it does hurt, and doesn't help, us all in the end.

No, I'm not talking about the gentle pleasures of daydreaming and such. There is a difference. But that's a thought for another time.

I'm talking about things like propaganda and marketing, which are done with the deliberate goal of manipulating people into altering their behavior based on careful nontruths. It's done for the benefit of those doing the manipulating, and usually passes itself off as being done for the benefit of those being manipulated.

I believe all politicians get into that mindset, and that it's partly our own fault: we don't always want the truth.

I also believe this particular administration has been even worse than others about it, and have maintained that from before 9/11. Which date is when they REALLY got cranking on the bullshit mill.

But dumb me. Fooled again.

Why?

Because when they called it a Biometrics Appointment, I - well, I - I BELIEVED 'em.

I should have realized it could well be a clever subterfuge. See, if you just CALL it a Biometrics Appointment, that'll trick all those terrorists out there. Since they THINK your identification docs include biometrics now, they won't try to make phony green cards. They'll give up! Right off the bat! Not a shot fired!

And then you don't have to waste any money actually DOING things like eyeball scans, see? So you can save all that money from being wasted on *actual* security measures, and let it line the pockets of yourselfs and your buddies with *Ostensible Security Services Companies*, thereby benefiting the economy. Of the pockets in question, sure, but hey, it trickles down.

Neat trick!

The ten-year card that expired was a hard plastic card with holograms and stuff in it. It was ok, I liked that one all right. It wasn't the real original card though, it was more recent, more *Now.* Walter has many wonderful qualities. Sometimes he also loses things.

Which is why I wanted to see the New Card just as soon as he got home.

After a brief interlude of hunting through various sections of wallet and pocket - hardly getting frantic at all - he produced it.

But this one didn't even have the holograms.

In fact, it looked suspiciously old-fashioned.

Kind of like a piece of heavy paper, with a little photo glued onto it, and the whole thing covered in plastic, with the edges melted together.

Huh?!?

Why's that cost $70.00?

OH! I get it! This is just a TEMPorary one, the Real Cool One will come in the mail. Right?

Well...sort of.

It'll come in the mail, sometime before the first of next year. They really promised.

But, no eyeball scan.

Nope.

Apparently what they meant by *Biometrics* is, they took his fingerprints afresh, and a new photo, in order to do a computer comparison with the photo and prints currently on file for him.

Which they seem to think will require up to seven months to complete.

Probably because they'll give that task to those peabrain appointment setters.

What a RIP! I wanted EYEBALL SCANS!

You know what else? They didn't even need to fool the terrorists with this ploy. Wasn't necessary. There's already a Ploy In Place.

Because, as everyone knows, a Green Card is actually...

Pink.