Saturday, January 24, 2009

Joyce Ellen Davis said...

k, m'dear, I am so sorry you are going through all this pain and infection. I wonder how you manage to stay so upbeat and optimistic. I guess it's kinda like they say in AA--about the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference when you can't.

from a woman who tackled inexplicable malignant melanoma eating her entire arm
when only in her early thirties
and pregnant with her fifth child
who fought the cancer
fought to keep the arm
fought to keep the child
fought the fear
fought the pain
and gave birth to her miraculously healthy beautiful baby
all alone in the hospital
*without so much as an aspirin,* mind you
because patronizing medical jerks had patted her head
and said
that baby wasn't nearly ready to say *hello*
(despite the well-informed opinion of she who'd experienced birthing a child from that body 4 times already!)
so they fools left this recovering cancer patient to deliver her own fifth child all by herself
completely alone
and then!
upon return, upon seeing the new-delivered child
they fools had the unmitigated gall to do the patronizing head pat thing
and she didn't even punch anyone out!!!

coping mechanism
wrote, throughout the ordeal, an incredibly beautiful and moving book
a work of art

Do I love that Serenity Prayer? You betcha. Often I say, *I love reality;* and that prayer is all about knowing reality and acting accordingly. It's an important part of the panoply of forces in my Cheerful and Optimistic Maintenance toolbox.

But it's not alone. That toolbox holds lots of different ingredients.

Miss Joyce. Part of how we make it through hard times is legacy.

Do you remember me telling you I'd heard about your book in those years back, heard it was a true work of art, but didn't read it yet? and wasn't sure why?

After I did, a couple years ago now, I finally figured it out.

If I'd read Chrysalis back then, I wouldn't have known the *real* ending. Wouldn't have known if the cancer came back, if the baby stayed healthy and grew up well and whole, if the husband maintained his (wonderful/annoying!) steadfast equanimity and absolute conviction that all would be well, having never considered leaving your side for one second.

And I think I could not have borne the *not knowing.* Wanting, hugely, a Happy Ending.

So. Now it's safe, because it did have that Happy Ending IRL. Knowing that up front, going in, made reading the book the undiluted very great pleasure and wonder it was born to be.

I draw on your legacy. It all gives me strength, you see.


Joyce Ellen Davis said...

WOW! Thanks for the shout out! :D

k said...

Thanks?! HA! No no no. We can't start thanking each other for thanking each other or we'll be here all night. ;-)

Besides, thanks from you aren't necessary in the first place.

Just a little go-around, come-around going on.

Pretty Lady said...

Woo hoo, k is posting!

Pretty Lady said...

BTW, that sort of labor horror story is one of the many reasons I've got a midwife, a doula, and Joe, my 'birth partner' all going to the hospital with me. A great phalanx of experienced personnel in between me and the patronizing medical establishment!

Nancy said...

It's always good to have someone in your corner when you're ill and not able to push for what you need the most.

SeaPhoenix said...

Good to hear from you, K! BTW...I made it to another birthday...39 and unemployed...maybe Wal-Mart needs a door-greeter..."Would you like a sticker, sonny?" sigh

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