Thursday, October 05, 2006

For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

Shamelessly swiped from kmom. I could credit the original source of this email, but I don't know them, and I'm not sure they'd want me to.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

6 comments:

pepektheassassin said...

Oh, these are funny! Write on!

pepektheassassin said...

Har har har! All you knead is a rubber nose and an exploding cigar.... :-D

k said...

I wish I could take credit for these, but I can't.

Not a single darn one.

Cindi said...

Those are good. I liked no. 8
"With her marriage she got a new name and a dress". lol

Nancy said...

Ow ow owww!! groan!

I like puns.

Hey k! the peas I planted are up and growing, the lettuce and the carrots have sprouted and we had rain today.

k said...

Cindi, that's one of my faves too.

Nancy,your plants are groan good.