Thursday, October 05, 2006

For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

Shamelessly swiped from kmom. I could credit the original source of this email, but I don't know them, and I'm not sure they'd want me to.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.


pepektheassassin said...

Oh, these are funny! Write on!

pepektheassassin said...

Har har har! All you knead is a rubber nose and an exploding cigar.... :-D

k said...

I wish I could take credit for these, but I can't.

Not a single darn one.

Cindi said...

Those are good. I liked no. 8
"With her marriage she got a new name and a dress". lol

Nancy said...

Ow ow owww!! groan!

I like puns.

Hey k! the peas I planted are up and growing, the lettuce and the carrots have sprouted and we had rain today.

k said...

Cindi, that's one of my faves too.

Nancy,your plants are groan good.