Saturday, January 27, 2007

*Nigerian 419 Scam* - Takurmoni and Ruhn

Well! Imagine my delight when I awoke to see this in my gmail this morning.

Back in my bankbusting days, we got to do a certain amount of fraud investigation. Criminal bank fraud was reported to the FBI via a *Criminal Referral.* Unfortunately, many in that bureau regard drug cartels, bank robbery and gun running as far more *sexy* professional pursuits.

And financial frauds, especially sophisticated ones, can be difficult to explain to juries. Suppose the FBI investigated the case instead of circular-filing it, then actually took the time to go to court. Say the jury convicted the crooks. Said crooks often ended up with a short-term slap-on-the-wrist stint in a Golf Course Jail.

This state of affairs was frustrating and demotivating.

Thus k's emphasis on simple civil recovery for fraudulent acts. Screw RICO. If you stole my money, it's open to recovery via tort, okay? Should be a no-brainer. Just add the language in with your foreclosure suit.


Since it hadn't been done much in the past, this tactic initially met with general scepticism on the part of k's superiors and attorneys. However, like most such innovations, as soon as it was proved to be successful - meaning the money came in - it was taken up by various and sundry other account officers, and readily approved by Committees. Hooray! Proud of that one, I am.

I really have a great dislike for crime, folks. White-collar crime especially sticks in my craw. Violence too.

I got a Nigerian 419 letter in the mail once. It had a beautiful foreign stamp on it. I called some local FBI or other office, and they kindly talked it over with me, but weren't interested in actually seeing the letter. They said they had more than enough to work with, thank you k.

Now we get them in email. No more pretty stamps.

This one's purportedly from South Africa. They're called *Nigerian 419* scams because that's the name of the Nigerian law passed to combat these crimes. Nigerian scammers were the original creative force behind the concept.

While my 419 email doesn't address it - yet - my banker will quickly require some advance fees to get this money out of his bank and his country. *Advance Fee scam* is another name for the routine.

Want to read more about the real life facts of these scams? Here's a great link.

I especially enjoyed reading that the last name on the email address, Mr. *Khumalo,* is included on the list of names commonly used by our fraudsters.

I didn't enjoy learning how many victims end up dead, by murder or suicide. That's a shame.

But I'll overlook that, and return to the pleasurable pursuit of analyzing my Nigerian 419 email.

Notice the charming lack of sophistication. I've got some 3rd world dummy here. Should be easy for me to manipulate, huh? Not that I'd ever dream of being the *one amongst both of us* to *defraud each other at the end.*

Such fine compliments too! I am indeed a *reliable and competent person.* Certainly Mr. Khumalo/Zuma can rely upon my *unreserved but sincere cooperation devoid of greed.*

Now, don't overlook the criminal nature of the proposal. It's not just *to avoid any possible blackmail or leakage* that he's contacting total strangers to help him. No no no. Mr. Khumalo/Zuma says he removed files on the account to hide it from bank auditors. You don't need to be a South African to understand that it's a crime, anywhere, for any fiduciary to do stuff like that.

Not to mention, I'm supposed to pose as the heir to Mr. Angers. Which, actually, I'm really not. Meaning I'd be committing another act of fraud right there.

But hey. Who does it harm? Isn't this a victimless crime?

Mr. Angers, who unfortunately passed on via plane crash, opened the account *having been fictitious regards the information submitted to this bank.* So it was probably stolen money anyway. Besides, if he didn't provide correct information, his real heirs - which he probably doesn't have - don't deserve it. He has a nasty name too: *Angers.*

The *Federal Treasury via South Africa reserve bank* doesn't need 40% of $9,000,000.

I do.

We better get going here. Our banker's been looking for a reliable Helper for months...but soon he'll find one. The first comer - or maybe one of those bank auditors - could show up any minute. It really is *a matter of urgency.* I better hurry.

Because, hey. *It is worthy to note that people are unreliable these days and even derive joy in telling lies.*

Somewhere, dark in the heart of a remote African village - or maybe Yonkers - our scam artist must have burst into giggles when he wrote that line.

Thandi Khumalo
show details
3:56 am (6 hours ago)

Good day!!I can't imagine how you will feel receiving a sudden business letter from a remote country infar away South Africa and probably from some one you have not closely related with. But allthe same, I believe we do not need to be of blood relatives before we can establish cordial/business relationship. Having said this, I think it is very important at this juncture to introduce myself to you and also disclose to you, how I came in contact with your email address/profile. My name is. Mr. PATRICK ZUMA I am the district (Foreign operations) manager of commercial bank here in South Africa.

I got your email address/profile from the Internet when I was in search for reliable and competent person to handle this matter for our future benefits. So it is my pleasure tosolicit your assistance in a very confidential business proposal. I am contacting you because Ido not want to transact the business with anybody who is known to any staff of this bank oranybody around here to avoid any possible blackmail or leakage at the end of the transaction.


There is an account in this bank, which was opened in 1982 by one Mr. Marc Angers, an Australian National, who worked with South Africa Department of Mining & Natural Resources and since 1990 nobody has operated on this account. I had a very careful study of theaccount files through which I carried an extensive investigation about the holder of the said account and found out that Mr. Marc Angers suddenly died in a plane crash in 1990 thereby abandoning the account, having been fictitious regards the information submitted to this bank at the time of opening the account.

The account at this moment has no beneficiary since the name Mr. Marc filled, as his next ofkin has no contact information in the form he submitted to the bank. I have secretly removedall the relevant files to the account from the dormant section so that bank auditors will notverify the abandoned money and refer it to Federal Treasury via South Africa reserve bank’.Credit balance of the said account is US$9 Million (Nine million, United States Dollars)

My Dear Friend, the deal here is that the money in this account will be approved and remitted to any foreigner who shows up as next of kin to Mr. Marc provided such person has correctinformation to the account. I have such needed information and will hand it over to you as soonas we commence the transaction. I will source all necessary documents and forward them to youfor direct submission to the bank. With my position as the foreign operations manager, we willquietly remove this money from the bank without hitches.

I don't have any problem in regularizing all necessary documents and transferring of the credit balance of the said account to your yet to nominated overseas bank account, but the problem is sincerity and trust. I have spent months in trying to get an overseas reliable contact. It is worthy to note that people are unreliable these days and even derive joyin telling lies.

On this ground I request your unreserved but sincere cooperation devoid of greed in carrying out this transaction so that no one amongst both of us shall defraud each other at the end. I am prepared to split the fund at 60%---40% for you, provided that mine (60%) will be intact at the end. Please get back to me via the above email account as a matter of urgency or call +0027731358128.


pepektheassassin said...

Sounds like a deal to me! Opportunities knocking! :)

Kenny said...

I never answer e mails form folks I don't know. Most of the time I don't open e mails from folks I don't know.

Morris said...

Yep, some of those Nigerian spams can be quite entertaining.

Granny J said...

Yours is the best Nigerian scam post I've read, k -- I also admire your idea for recovering money lost in bank closings. Cool.

k said...

I talked to a lady yesterday who told me about an elderly woman she knew who almost sent money to a *lottery* scam...argh!!!

kenny, that's ALWAYS the best advice. And I never open them either. This time, actually, I just goofed - I was trying to do a *report spam* on it, and hit the email at the wrong time, and opened it by accident. But I was pretty sure the damage wasn't via virus or such; even the email heading was clearly a 419. They usually save the damage for the scam, rather than infection.

morris, I'm glad to hear you have that same sense of humor about these guys!

And thank you, grannyJ! Of course I'd like to take credit for that fine letter, but we'll have to leave that for the author. I sure do feel honored for getting such a fine one, though.

I had a lot of fun doing recoveries. There's nothing like a true emergency to allow for innovation. Once some time has passed and it's morphed into beaurocracy, it's much harder. An older, seasoned portfolio can get pretty boring.