Sunday, July 29, 2007

Overheard in the Northwoods

Stop licking my feet!

Did you fart?

Is this your snot rag or mine?

-I LOVE onions!
-How do you feel about onions, anyway?
-I just LOVE them! I LOVE onions.
-Why don't you make some onions?
-YESSS!!! I'm gonna make some onions.
-Good! Have some nice onions.
-Okay. i just LOVE onions!

I HATE dropping stuff in the toilet!


Was that you or the dog?

Pooping is GOOD.

-What's that?
-New game. Kinda like Pong.
-Oh! I remember Pong.
-Me too.
-Lotta people don't remember Pong any more.
-OH NO!!
-What happened?
-I dunno! OH! I WON! (pleased)...Uh oh! I got 3?!? I got like a BILLION all running around at the same time!!!...AW MAN I only had 1 left and I died!
-Now I won! Oh look it's making lightning and everything!


Anonymous said...

Huh? I don't know whether to laugh or scratch my head...

k said...

Forgive me, Morris! Every once in a while, even nicely brought up middle-aged ladies with their hair in a bun (like moi) sometimes feel the need to imitate a frat house the Sunday after Homecoming.

One can't do this with every woman walking down the street, mind you. Finding another female to verbally misbehave with isn't easy.

We're both half deaf, so we often misunderstand each other, sometimes with hysterically funny results. Here and there we have to resort to hollering.

We both love onions. This can be a good thing when people are sharing a living space. All or nothing usually works out best for the Onion and/or Garlic crowd.

We both have some really serious health issues. One difference between us is this: poor Miss Livey suffers from certain digestive problems that complicate her life just terribly. I take it upon myself to jolly her out of these whenever possible, especially by making light of them. And, by rewarding improvements with Positive Reinforcement. I have no idea if this actually helps the health issues at hand, mind you. I can say, it certainly helps me feel better about them.

Living with a chronically ill person you care about can be frustrating. You want to help, to make it better. But often you can't. So...perhaps you can make it more bearable by giggling at it a bit.

Now: WHY it troubles her so when the dog and cat lick her feet is beyond me. I haven't gotten a satisfactory answer, myself. Pets will be pets and animals do animalistic things.

In my experience, both dogs and cats have a penchant for such behaviour. Many a cat, especially, loves to bury its head in the most hard-ridden shoes it can find. My Babycat would fall asleep this way, head crammed as far as possible inside one of Walter's shoes, with an expression of pure catly ecstasy on his face.

Go figger.

And pets sometimes decide to *wash* their humans.

I see this as nurturing, affectionate behavior. Livey gets grossed out. Since she's usually hard to gross out, it really catches me off guard. Innocently browsing about the 'net, reading blogs, I suddenly hear...


and so far, it never ceases to crack me up.

I hope I haven't completely horrified you! Just a little rowdy girlie humor, there.

Okay. WARPED rowdy girlie humor. ;-)

sue said...

I giggled through the whole post... can just see you two...

Desert Cat said...

Jasmine licks my head and my beard all the time, but none of them lick my feet. Yikes! They would only need to try it once before realizing it's not the best idea.

Poochie would be the one to try...

Anonymous said...

lurker here, but I have noticed that when I try to go to Livey's page, I get sent to some dumb ass clock shop page !! whats up with that ???

k said...

Hmmm, dunno. Need to ask Livey, really. I'm no computer person, myself.

She's had to put a few mild bans in place, so perhaps you got caught in a ban.

Probably the easiest way to find out is simply to email her.

k said...

Well, DC, I've heard of LOTS of cats fascinated with guy's beards.

But if your feet are anything akin to Walter's shoes? I know my Babycat would have ADORED you!

The *worse* they were to us humans, the happier he was. Oh, the look on his face!