Friday, March 28, 2008

The News Was Bad

Blogdad Desert Cat has posted about his father's test results. They're in. They're about as bad as could be. His father has an untreatable form of leukemia.

I'm very sad about this. DC has been absorbing all his own grief, and the sorrow surrounding him from all those who love his father.

So I'm going to try to take DC's cue now, and set my sadness aside. It's a natural way to feel, yes. Of course it is. But it's helping no one, and it's adding to his burden.

DadCat still has a life to live. It's not over yet. They've made it out from the city into the country, out on the land DC bought. Momcat likes to garden, and they have their own water well out there in the desert valley. And a brand new kitten too.

They've very much wanted to make it out there for a while now. And because of their son's care and his careful approach to buying that land, then his long hard work to bring in electricity, all the things needed to get it livable - they made it. They're home free.

A peaceful place to be. And that, my friends, is a very good thing indeed.


Granny J said...

What a good, peaceful way to live out one's days; thank you for that news, k. I haven't known what to say to DC.

k said...

Granny J, you suggested I read your daughter's post about your mother's passing. That it might help come to terms with it. And it did. It did, powerfully so.

I don't always deal with the subject of terminal illness and death very well. It's very hard for me. I revolt, which of course is completely futile.

At the time your mother passed away there were just way too many at once. They included your mother, Pepek's brother, another blogger (Alan). I'd never visited Alan but realized, too late, how much I would have loved to be a regular there. He had connections to my youth, in music, that few people have even heard of. I never knew he was there. Sometimes losing that possibility of friendship is nearly as painful as losing someone you've known well.

That names just a few that passed all at the same time. Too many others were suddenly dealing with serious illnesses or other losses. My own emotional pain in trying to cope with the sense of loss and sadness for you all was difficult enough that it's been hard for me to visit your blog and Pepek's ever since. I'm just starting to get over it now.

DadCat has quite a powerful faith, as does Desert Cat. That will help them both, very much. It presents problems of its own, of course: a person of a strong faith in Christianity will be eager to finally meet Jesus, yet still, it means losing this life here on earth. And when we do go, we leave others behind us. People who need us to stay alive. People we love. We don't want to leave them all alone.

I don't just love DC for being such a great blogdad and friend. And you know there are areas we disagree on. But I have great respect for his ability to grapple with these issues at hand just now.

Reading that he'd consciously decided to try to move away from the grief was very comforting to me. I knew it was exactly right for his situation.

And it oddly coincided with my own decision to do the same. We seemed to have gone, unknowingly, through the same stages of emotion after hearing the news. So it seemed fitting, intuitively, and twice over.

He knows you for the sterling person that you are, Granny J. You may say what you feel, just as soon as you're able to articulate what that is.