The Whizzinator

I'm fond of various body parts. I hope we all are. So you may lift an eyebrow at this, but hey. Instead of trying to explain I have lots of OTHER favorites, I'll just let time convince all y'all down the road.

And enjoy a Penis Day while The Whizzinator's in the news.

I've had The Whizzinator's link for years now, http://www.thewhizzinator.com/whiz2.htm. It's a cute site. Pretty businesslike, too. It gets to the point and tells you how it does the job, and what products they sell. And right off, they display: ATTENTION LADIES! PLEASE CLICK HERE

I also like the side-by-side comparison:
THE WHIZZINATOR VS. THE COMPETITION
YOU BE THE JUDGE!

This article, http://story.news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050512/od_nm/health_drugtests_dc, made me think of my old friend The Whizzinator again. Seems they're all bothered about it on Capitol Hill, and intent on stomping it out for good. It's not that I can't see their point. It's just that I've never, ever warmed to this real intrusion on our privacy called the Urine Test for Substances.

I've heard good arguments for it, mostly regarding safety concerns for pilots and such. Maybe those would carry more weight with me if the big problem of pilots drinking required a urine test instead of a breathalyzer.

And if its real life use weren't so very focused on non-safety things like desk jobs, and so very rarely on use for true safety concerns.

But Capitol Hill doesn't see it my way.

"'These companies seek through deception to make a buck by violating our trust and compromising our security,' said Rep. Ed Whitfield, a Kentucky Republican who chairs the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel...'It is a risk we simply cannot tolerate. This panel will uncover how widespread these products are and recommend the necessary steps to end their use.'

"A congressional subcommittee voted to subpoena the owner of Puck Technology of Signal Hill, California, the company that makes the Whizzinator. The panel also voted to subpoena the owners of Health Choice of New York City and Spectrum Labs of Cincinnati, two companies that lawmakers said also were suspected of selling products aimed at circumventing workplace drug tests...The owners were required to provide financial and operational records by Monday and to appear at a congressional hearing on Tuesday...company officials had previously declined to testify and provided little information, a committee statement said."

They seem pretty serious about this, so the Whizzinator may fall by the wayside. I better check out the LADIES! box before the site goes down, just to see what's there. It's not that I'd ever use it myself. My life is squeaky clean both by choice and necessity; and even if it weren't, stooping to this would violate my personal sovereignty even worse than the Substance Tests do.

Besides, the article tells us about Tom Sizemore's travails: he was caught using the Whizzinator, and jailed after using a similar device and failing a drug test. So maybe they aren't such effective devices after all.

But if it goes? I'll miss it.